Waiting...and Waiting...

Our son is used to the wheels of social services turning ever so slowly; hunky hubby and I are not. The "emergency" meeting scheduled to take place took four days to accomplish, proper communications took another three. But...the visit to our grandson's potential residential home is this afternoon! The visit will be made by our grandson, son and me. I'm interested, curious, hopeful, prayerful and a little nervous. We are all so hopeful this is where our grandson's future will be but in reality, I have no idea how carefully those plans are worked out. I will be sure to add an update either late today or tomorrow.

Other thoughts of the day: my problems seem like raindrops in a bucket when I read the news of Japan, earthquake, tsunami, nuclear reactors. My heart aches for their people, their country. We live @ 15 miles inland from the Pacific Ocean, so early Friday morning, our son (the geologist) drove to the coast. He wanted to see the potential tsunami event the West Coast would experience. He was there for three hours, taking photos and videos to share with his students. The tide surges were an interesting event but did not impact our area, thankfully.

Good news of the day: We had a surprise visitor this week, our younger son! He had celebrated his birthday with his two sons the night before so drove north to celebrate with us as well. It was so sweet to have him with us. Once a mama, always a mama!

Thanks to all who take the time to read along with my postings, love to know you enjoy my thoughts and experiences of the so-called golden years.

Good News, Bad News

It is time to catch you up on life on our hill. I will start with the bad news...our family is still seeking the right (is there a right or wrong?) pathway for our grandson with autism. He has taken his anti-anxiety med now for 2 1/2 weeks and it seems to have worked adversely for him. He has been more verbally expressive but also is more irritable, argumentative (one word at a time, usually "NO!"), and certainly not happy.

Time is now becoming critical since our son returns to his professorship on March 22. So...do the two of them leave? Not a good choice but doable. Does the grandson remain here with us? Again, not a good choice, considering his emotional state. There is a placement home available for him, so tomorrow there will be an emergency meeting of his class administrator, his social worker and our son. I hope and pray a good choice may surface. I am also quite concerned for our son, who is highly dedicated to his beloved family first and then his work, which he also loves. Me? I'm here to listen, back up and give hugs.

My Good/GREAT news: our younger son has remained strong and healthy for a year! Hooray! I know that may sound like a simple thought but it has been a huge gift for me. He's healthy, his sons are doing well and I love listening to their stories! Cars, golf, girlfriends, love my guys.

Hunky Hubby and I? We are anticipating some travel later this month, and I am itching to pack a bag. Hopefully the son/grandson will be settled by then and we can drive away with a happy heart.

I am beginning to receive some great responses, thanks to you readers! I look forward to lots more ideas, thoughts, sharing of life as I know it...so how is yours? Jan

More about me...

I am trying to keep blogs short and readable, I know everyone has choices where and how time is spent. But I think I need to add a little more of me to the family dynamic. First, I love God. And I love the life He has given me. We have no choice where and with whom we begin, but the big choice is knowing who we have become and being accountable. I was blessed with parents who took me to church from the cradle to the time I married. And I am blessed that my hunky hubby is a Godly man.

If I always remember the order of life, I have a very high list of blessings. Challenges are big and choices have forever after consequences, but if I look first to my Lord, I know He will walk with me. And there we go back to the reason for my blog.

I wish I had my mom, dad and aunts and uncles, especially grandparents, to talk over some of these choices and questions. But I don't. I have a beautiful sister, actually three, counting my sisters-in-law. Of we three, I am the eldest so I have run plumb out of "elders."

Once upon a time, I had a long and loving list of church family elders...now I find myself on that list. So, that's why I am hoping our blog dialogue will be an exchange of thoughts, experiences and and I am so looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks, Jan

Living with Autism

Our 22 year old grandson and his father have been living with us the past year. Our grandson has autism and my hunky hubby and I are learning to live with his special needs. He attends a local program for special adults four days a week where he is taught social skills and work ethics; the fifth day attends an outdoor program designed to introduce these special people to various activities: surfing, hiking, horses, etc. He adores his outdoor activities, a natural for him since his dad is a geologist and they have gone on field explorations together for years.

This past six weeks have been awful for us and even worse for our grandson. He has been alternately irritable, angry, withdrawn vs. his usual sunny and happy disposition. He has limited verbal skills so we are equally limited to interpret the cause of his distress. It becomes the 20 questions or 50 questions or more. Sometimes we find the answer but his intervals are usually short and eventually disappear on their own.

This one did not. He was like a truck without brakes heading downhill. Each day presented a greater challenge. He did NOT want to go to his school, he did NOT want to go to his adventure club, he did NOT want to leave his bed, anything we asked or tried to help with was answered with a loud "NO." One night he was so upset that he started acting out in anger, which we had never seen. I had such a broken heart--obviously he was as unhappy as we had ever seen.

After a long talk amongst the three of us (son, hubby and I) and reading current literature re autistic adults, especially books by Temple Grandin, we wondered if it was time for a medication to soothe his overanxious feelings. The doctor concurred and the med has now been taken for six days. Results? Just too soon to know.

The second action we took was to be sure our grandson was sleeping well at night. He is notorious for waiting till we are all sleeping and then he does what he chooses. Game Boy, IPod, IPad, phone games. We are moving beds this weekend so son and grandson will now be in the same room. And his dad is hiding all game devices each night.

So, this is what we found today in preparing for the move:

28 bottles of water were hidden in various drawers, doors, and cubby holes. Why? We will never know. It is his secret stash. What we do know is how hard we laughed as we pulled them out one by one and how much we dearly love our sweet, mysterious grandson!

If you know any family living with autism, share this story. We all need laughs, especially families who have special needs--don't we all? Love, Jan

Happenings on the Hill

It's been a while since I've had time to post so I thought I'd catch you up on Happenings on the Hill. Yes, we live on a very high hill. I learned many years ago that if you married a pilot (and I did), you would never live in a valley. All chosen homes have a beautiful view to simulate flying when you are on your sofa! That works for me too. Our hill is spectacularly beautiful and if I can figure how to post photos, I will.

It's the very beginning of spring in Central California. Our almond trees have bloomed

(see photo, I hope). The apricot tree will follow, then plum, and finally apple and pear. It sounds like an orchard but really we have just one of each. Sometimes we are blessed with fruit and sometimes we are blessed with pits and half eaten samples left on the ground. When you live in a rural area, you learn to share with the original residents--deer, fox, and the occasional black bear. It's a good thing I came from farm roots (see my book, Nebraska Lessons and Legacies on Amazon). We also have lots of wild turkeys and boar.

When weather is good and time allows, Angel and I walk the mile and a half path around the city lake. The photo

(I hope) is of swans who have lived there for several years. Angel thinks she should smell them like all other dogs--not! It's an adventure each time to see the other owners and dogs, and the migrations of the various birds. We have white pelicans each winter
(sorry, no photo), cormorants and assorted varieties of ducks. We come home invigorated and in touch with God's beauty.

Next post will be on home changes--life goes on, doesn't it? I hope I have a few eyes keeping in touch with my updates, and let me know what you are thinking too. Jan

Still More to Come

I will try to be more creative once I've posted this. It has just seemed to take a while to complete the who, what, where and why of my life. The Still More to Come of today is a peek at the youngest member of our family--my dog, Angel! I know, I know, WHAT was I thinking??

Well, time travel back two years ago. It was just hunky hubby and I. Yes, we have Cooney the Kitty but she's a mouser and shares (sheds) her fur like you can't imagine. Poof, it flies airborne as she walks. I'm not exaggerating.So here is my lap with no pet sharing it. It just didn't seem right. I have a pet lovers heart and couldn't walk into a pet store without wanting to walk out with a puppy in my pocket.

Unfortunately, hunky hubby didn't understand it. Our lives didn't really need another consideration (complication) in his eyes. After about six months of negotiation, which, incidentally, did NOT include tears or whining he said it was more important to him that I be happy than him. See why I am so in love with this guy? In July, 2009, six months before the arrival of our TX family, I found my puppy and brought her home. She is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, tri-color, and was four months old.

Angel has been wonderful, Angel has been a problem and Angel is cuter than any other dog/puppy I've ever seen. I guess pets are like your kids. Because they are yours, they are beloved in spite of their flaws. Did I say flaws? Okay, just a few. #1. Hubby, after a year and a half still doesn't really want her around. #2. My grandson with autism has two prickly points--babies crying and (you guessed it) dogs barking. Yes, she does bark. She is also completely devoted to me. She tolerates other hands petting her, other laps to sit in but her eyes are always on me. If I had the gift of foresight, would I have gotten her? Absolutely not. Should I find another home for her because of the problems? Absolutely not. So I throw it out to you again, what would you do? This ends the "More to come" since I have now run out of family. The next post will start fresh. I hope there are some eyes following me (besides Angel's) through my so-called golden years. Jan

More to Come...

This is my third entry to the blog and so far the only reader I've added is my sister! Come on, come on, check in and add to the growing numbers...Please?!

Now the "More to Come." You still haven't been introduced to our younger son and his two sons. They live nearby but thankfully not with us. His sons are 18 and 16, healthy, busy, active, sports-oriented guys. And hungry, oh my gosh. For Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner I'd never seen food disappear so fast. It happened so fast that nobody talked. I think they continued breathing but all I could hear was mmmmm, swallow, mmmmm. Kudos to the cook (me, of course).

Anyway, younger son has been unable to work for a few years, his health is touch and go. This past year has been a very good one but that could change and we are on call. When he was ill, hubby and I were the alternating house mom & dad, caring for him + the two sons. We were and will continue to be available to fill in but what would you do? We thank God for the past year of health and pray that it can continue.

Hubby and I are in good health, so we are able physically to carry the load for a while when called upon. Emotionally, we are not so strong. It changes day to day--some are days of smiles and laughs and others are days of withdrawal and resentment.

I tend to fall in the "glass half full" category and have been happy to have the home busy and have the opportunity to know our son, grandson and granddaughter more intimately. It was hard when they were in TX and we were in CA and visits were all we had. I have been thankful to be with our younger son to help him and his boys too. It is harder than I could have guessed but how can you not love grandsons who argue if they love you more than you love them? (By the way, no one wins!)

But it has been so much harder for hubby. Maybe it's a guy/gal thing? The situations and the emotions have been a fight for him, though he has not made that public nor has he made that evident to our two sons. I try to stay the course as the peacemaker but of course all I can do is listen and empathize with all. To me, they are the dearest of my heart and if I struggle, it's because of energy.

So...anyone want to add comments to my story? I know we are blessed in so many ways and keep that in focus. But day to day, I wiggle waggle. Does everyone? I hope so! Let me know your thoughts...more to come, Jan