It is a day of remembrance for me--my mother has been gone for fifteen years. Each year her memory becomes more tender, sweeter. Like most mothers, we had our differences but the more mature I became, the wiser she became! It's a gift of age that I truly can appreciate. I miss her voice, her laugh, her hugs and most of all, her encouragement. There was never a time she was not my encourager.
I hope I bring some of those qualities to our two sons and grandsons. And their partners too. Yesterday my sons, grandsons all checked in and it was such fun to hear their news and stories. Our family has LOTS of good storytellers! I also received phone calls from two ex-es of our sons, and I am honored that they include me in their thoughts and wishes. Hunky hubby totally caught me by surprise Saturday morning with the delivery of a dozen long stemmed roses!
I am blessed, I am happy. I thank God for my mother and for giving me children so I could be a mother too. Jan
Monday, May 9, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Hooray!
I'm home, I'm home, I'm home! O My Gosh, it is such a wonderful feeling. I guess Dorothy was right in the Wizard of Oz, There's no place like home, no place like home. Sorry, I can't help repeating myself.
It was a great week, it was a hard week, it was a challenging week, it was a bonding week. My friend whose husband died is working so hard to see her way through the maze of questions, decisions, myriads of paperwork and--not to be unrecognized--her grief. She is doing amazingly well, I am happy to say. I am proud of her. We had hours and hours of work to do together and got it all done. We also had hours in the evening to talk, share thoughts and memories, laugh and praise God for His presence. I love her dearly and can't express how thankful I was to be able to be with her at this time.
I also stopped by my 80-year-old cousin's house on my way south. She is special in every way. She remembers when I was born, was present when my elder son was born and is in every way my older sister. Our mothers were close, but I think she and I are closer, mostly due to the changes of privacy feelings of the two generations. I needed a family fix and she made sure I got one! I was indulged, watched over and even got to pick our TV programs. Now that's FAMILY!
Hunky hubby and I will be returning to Northern California next week for the services of our friend, but in the meantime--did I say how happy I was to be home?! Jan
It was a great week, it was a hard week, it was a challenging week, it was a bonding week. My friend whose husband died is working so hard to see her way through the maze of questions, decisions, myriads of paperwork and--not to be unrecognized--her grief. She is doing amazingly well, I am happy to say. I am proud of her. We had hours and hours of work to do together and got it all done. We also had hours in the evening to talk, share thoughts and memories, laugh and praise God for His presence. I love her dearly and can't express how thankful I was to be able to be with her at this time.
I also stopped by my 80-year-old cousin's house on my way south. She is special in every way. She remembers when I was born, was present when my elder son was born and is in every way my older sister. Our mothers were close, but I think she and I are closer, mostly due to the changes of privacy feelings of the two generations. I needed a family fix and she made sure I got one! I was indulged, watched over and even got to pick our TV programs. Now that's FAMILY!
Hunky hubby and I will be returning to Northern California next week for the services of our friend, but in the meantime--did I say how happy I was to be home?! Jan
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
On the Road
It may be a few days before I have a chance to update again; I am leaving for Northern California tomorrow morning to stay with my friend whose husband died last week. Due to family conflicts, his memorial service won't be until mid-May, and she's needing a friend. I am so blessed to be that friend.
A few years ago, I helped begin a ministry in our church that helps individuals during times of need and change (Stephen Ministry). It was a life-changing experience for me, learning the needs and the blessing of friendships during those times. It has equipped me to love, accept and stand with those who need or want a hand to hold. That's what I will be doing, just holding her hand and wiping her tears as she wipes mine.
In the meantime, hunky hubby and I had four great days with elder son and grandson over Easter weekend! We also celebrated grandson's birthday #23, elder son's birthday as well, so we had lots of fun with birthday cakes, trick candles, and a few presents too. It is important to cherish the days of smiles and laughs! Elder son is now back in TX, hard at work and grandson is back in his routine of his new "apartment" and vocational work.
We are not counting on days of peace and smiles, but we do really appreciate and thank God when we have them. I'll post again when I can--in the meantime I have a feeling I will come home so very blessed to know I have hunky hubby waiting for me with open arms. Jan
A few years ago, I helped begin a ministry in our church that helps individuals during times of need and change (Stephen Ministry). It was a life-changing experience for me, learning the needs and the blessing of friendships during those times. It has equipped me to love, accept and stand with those who need or want a hand to hold. That's what I will be doing, just holding her hand and wiping her tears as she wipes mine.
In the meantime, hunky hubby and I had four great days with elder son and grandson over Easter weekend! We also celebrated grandson's birthday #23, elder son's birthday as well, so we had lots of fun with birthday cakes, trick candles, and a few presents too. It is important to cherish the days of smiles and laughs! Elder son is now back in TX, hard at work and grandson is back in his routine of his new "apartment" and vocational work.
We are not counting on days of peace and smiles, but we do really appreciate and thank God when we have them. I'll post again when I can--in the meantime I have a feeling I will come home so very blessed to know I have hunky hubby waiting for me with open arms. Jan
Friday, April 22, 2011
Easter Blessings
This is indeed a solemn week. Each evening I am reading the Gospel of John, correlating to the events that led to each day and Jesus being nailed to the cross, then lifted to suffer, and to die. This reality is never far from my mind, all year. Hubby and I have taken two trips to Israel and walked, quite literally, in His footsteps.
It is easy, all to easy, to imagine the depth of grief His followers, His family were feeling. We, two plus centuries later, have hope arriving Sunday, celebrating His Resurrection!
Come Sunday, we rejoice. We are thankful to have elder son and grandson joining us for Easter Sunday and dinner. May you and yours have a blessed and joyful Easter. Jan
It is easy, all to easy, to imagine the depth of grief His followers, His family were feeling. We, two plus centuries later, have hope arriving Sunday, celebrating His Resurrection!
Come Sunday, we rejoice. We are thankful to have elder son and grandson joining us for Easter Sunday and dinner. May you and yours have a blessed and joyful Easter. Jan
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Loss of Friends
Loss of friends is another aspect of Golden Years. This morning I received a phone call from my close and dear friend that her husband died yesterday. The timing seems strange, was my first reaction. To her, Easter will be remembered as his death. My second thought was, how wonderful. They both had a very strong faith and this now will be remembered as his resurrection as well as Jesus'. That brought a smile to my face, as tears trailed down my cheeks.
We have known each other the entire 23 years we've lived in Central California. They moved from here six years ago, wanting to be closer to their three children in the Bay Area. Their timing was perfect. Three years ago my friend's husband had a recurrence of cancer. He fought bravely and hard, and we have shared many long talks. I still feel she is down the road from me, that's how close we are and how much I love them both.
Now she will move on in her Golden Years alone. I wish she was indeed down the road so I could walk over and give her a hug and wipe our tears together. Hubby and I will be attending the services, wherever and whenever they happen. Her loss is my loss, my heart aches for her...Jan
We have known each other the entire 23 years we've lived in Central California. They moved from here six years ago, wanting to be closer to their three children in the Bay Area. Their timing was perfect. Three years ago my friend's husband had a recurrence of cancer. He fought bravely and hard, and we have shared many long talks. I still feel she is down the road from me, that's how close we are and how much I love them both.
Now she will move on in her Golden Years alone. I wish she was indeed down the road so I could walk over and give her a hug and wipe our tears together. Hubby and I will be attending the services, wherever and whenever they happen. Her loss is my loss, my heart aches for her...Jan
Monday, April 18, 2011
The Old Is New Again
It is a joy to return to our "old" life. The life hubby and I had a couple of years ago, before the arrival of the extended family. It's like putting on that old pair of slippers, the well worn ones that have grooves inside that just fit your foot. Wonderful and easy.
The changes of the past couple of weeks seem to have fit everyone that way. Elder son is in Texas and finding teaching and university life comfortable...and exciting...and enervating in ways he has missed. Grandson is totally happy and yes, comfortable in his new "apartment."
It has not been without some withdrawal anxiety of our son. He and our grandson established a pattern of communicating with text and phone while they were together in Texas. After a couple of days in his new home (ok, apartment) our grandson broke off. No texts, no calls, no picking up when his dad called. That created a LOT of anxiety in spite of talking with the couple who operate the home our grandson moved into. There's no substituting for a pair of eyes seeing and believing, is there?
So Saturday afternoon I drove over, visited our grandson. When I walked in the door, he had a huge smile and hug and "Hi Gramma!" Then we went out for a quick dinner and also to a market to buy a few things he wanted. When we drove back to his new home, he unpacked his grocery items in the kitchen and went to his room. I visited with the couple running the home for a few minutes and walked into my grandson's room to say goodbye. He looked up and smiled, and said "Goodbye Gramma!" with hardly a skipped beat. He seemed so very content and I hoped my words would create the same feelings for our son.
It was with joy I sat in our church yesterday, reflecting on the day. It was my mother's birthday, she would have been 97. It was Palm Sunday, the day of joy and tears as Jesus rode into Jerusalem. It will be our grandson's 23rd birthday this week, his father's birthday next week. We seem to have moved into a new time of life, but really it's the old one again. I am filled with thankfulness and feel hubby and I have, for now, have some Golden Days, if not Golden Years. And I still hope for Golden Years! How about your time of life? What are your changes, challenges, hopes and struggles? I'd be honored if you can share them with me. Jan
The changes of the past couple of weeks seem to have fit everyone that way. Elder son is in Texas and finding teaching and university life comfortable...and exciting...and enervating in ways he has missed. Grandson is totally happy and yes, comfortable in his new "apartment."
It has not been without some withdrawal anxiety of our son. He and our grandson established a pattern of communicating with text and phone while they were together in Texas. After a couple of days in his new home (ok, apartment) our grandson broke off. No texts, no calls, no picking up when his dad called. That created a LOT of anxiety in spite of talking with the couple who operate the home our grandson moved into. There's no substituting for a pair of eyes seeing and believing, is there?
So Saturday afternoon I drove over, visited our grandson. When I walked in the door, he had a huge smile and hug and "Hi Gramma!" Then we went out for a quick dinner and also to a market to buy a few things he wanted. When we drove back to his new home, he unpacked his grocery items in the kitchen and went to his room. I visited with the couple running the home for a few minutes and walked into my grandson's room to say goodbye. He looked up and smiled, and said "Goodbye Gramma!" with hardly a skipped beat. He seemed so very content and I hoped my words would create the same feelings for our son.
It was with joy I sat in our church yesterday, reflecting on the day. It was my mother's birthday, she would have been 97. It was Palm Sunday, the day of joy and tears as Jesus rode into Jerusalem. It will be our grandson's 23rd birthday this week, his father's birthday next week. We seem to have moved into a new time of life, but really it's the old one again. I am filled with thankfulness and feel hubby and I have, for now, have some Golden Days, if not Golden Years. And I still hope for Golden Years! How about your time of life? What are your changes, challenges, hopes and struggles? I'd be honored if you can share them with me. Jan
Friday, April 15, 2011
Ouch...
Today's post is all about ME. Maybe it's about time, eh? I had an appointment with an oral surgeon yesterday to excise a big ole molar. It was a first in lots of ways--the first time I had an abscessed tooth and didn't know it (the hygienist found it during a routine cleaning--oh oh, not so routine). I had never had a tooth excised other than two lower wisdom teeth, many many years ago. It was not without trepidation that I walked through the door yesterday morning.
I chose to have anesthesia (yes, please put me out, no second thoughts there.) I walked into the OR at 10 am, woke up at 11 am with a hole where the tooth was but now filled with a mouth full of gauze. And believe it or not, that was the worst part of it all, the mouth filled with gauze. I slept...and slept...and slept. All afternoon and all night. I didn't know I could do that...Hunky hubby was fully attentive and brought me anything and everything I needed. Angel was an angel and stayed by my side all day and night.
And lawsy, as my Gramma would say, I woke up this morning feeling pretty great, things considered. No pain, no swelling and very, very hungry. I've just had my first cuppa coffee in two days, oh what a feeling! Now I'm off for some toast. Okay, that's enough about ME. My words to the wise: come to Central CA when you need an oral surgeon and go to mine, He's fabulous. :) Jan
I chose to have anesthesia (yes, please put me out, no second thoughts there.) I walked into the OR at 10 am, woke up at 11 am with a hole where the tooth was but now filled with a mouth full of gauze. And believe it or not, that was the worst part of it all, the mouth filled with gauze. I slept...and slept...and slept. All afternoon and all night. I didn't know I could do that...Hunky hubby was fully attentive and brought me anything and everything I needed. Angel was an angel and stayed by my side all day and night.
And lawsy, as my Gramma would say, I woke up this morning feeling pretty great, things considered. No pain, no swelling and very, very hungry. I've just had my first cuppa coffee in two days, oh what a feeling! Now I'm off for some toast. Okay, that's enough about ME. My words to the wise: come to Central CA when you need an oral surgeon and go to mine, He's fabulous. :) Jan
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