Yesterday was the big day. Our son departed for Texas and was oh-so-sad. I likened his feelings to what I remembered as empty nest time. Our son doesn't really have a nest anymore since he's been living with us, but perhaps that makes the split with his son even more poignant. He was surely a sad Dad to see his son drive away with us. It's that old good news/bad news situation: the good news is that timing is right for both, the bad news is that they have been buddies for so many years that simply put--they will miss one another so much. Life is about nothing if it isn't about change, right?
After the goodbyes, Hubby and I drove our grandson to his new "apartment." He seems absolutely thrilled to be on his own. Big smiles, hugs, kisses and a happy wave bye-bye. The couple who operate the home and supervise their guests, are just the personalities our grandson thrives with. Very happy, soft-spoken, gentle and loving. But they need to have assistance from each of their guests to have the home function in the way they choose, so everybody shares the work. Expectations are clear and assignments are expected to be completed without too much prompting. All in all, I have moved from cautious to very pleased!
I'm wondering if any of my readers have had similar separations in their family? We move ahead in faith and hope and prayers. We are seeing God's timing in our lives, the situation with our son and grandson, and it's comforting. Are there things the readers can share with me/us? I look forward to your stories too! Jan
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Happy Monday?
Well, so far so good. Son and grandson arrived in California on schedule, have accomplished the move, and there seem to be smiles all around. Am I surprised? Yes, I think I am. If I think of the resiliency our grandson shows, it's downright amazing! He has gone from the only home he remembered living in to his Dad's apartment, then to our home and now to his "new" home/apartment. Flexibility and change are not common characteristics of persons with autism.
I met the new family yesterday, a couple in their 50's. The man is an associate pastor, his wife is the mom to all. They have a total (including our grandson) of five special needs adults who live with them. Three are older, probably also in their 50's. One is younger than our grandson. It seems to be a very harmonious, peaceful home, something necessary for our grandson. No babies crying, no dogs barking! I am cautiously optimistic and pray for the harmony to create a wonderful home for our grandson.
The second phase will begin tomorrow when our son returns to Texas. Hunky hubby and I will certainly do what we can to continue this new path. Many thanks for your thoughts and prayers! Jan
I met the new family yesterday, a couple in their 50's. The man is an associate pastor, his wife is the mom to all. They have a total (including our grandson) of five special needs adults who live with them. Three are older, probably also in their 50's. One is younger than our grandson. It seems to be a very harmonious, peaceful home, something necessary for our grandson. No babies crying, no dogs barking! I am cautiously optimistic and pray for the harmony to create a wonderful home for our grandson.
The second phase will begin tomorrow when our son returns to Texas. Hunky hubby and I will certainly do what we can to continue this new path. Many thanks for your thoughts and prayers! Jan
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Changes...again
It has been good for hunky hubby and I to have "alone" time. We have cherished it and been aware it was a short passage and we did our best to appreciate and enjoy it. Friday we are expecting changes, if all goes as planned.
Our elder son and grandson are flying from TX to CA tomorrow and then will drive to our home Friday. The plan is that our grandson will move into his new residence home the same day. How will that work? We'll see. Our son and grandson have had a good two weeks together so it will certainly be an abrupt change for our grandson. It's always hard to understand just what he understands. He has such difficulty expressing himself. Our fingers are crossed and prayers are constant! We want the best for him and hope this move is a good change for all.
Our son will return to TX next Wednesday, so he will be around for several days to initiate and facilitate the move. In the meantime, I am smiling and looking forward to a little time with my guys again. As much as I love the quiet time hubby and I shared, I miss my other guys. I'm a mother too! Wishing sun and warm days for you in this beautiful springtime, Jan
P.S. One of my birthday gifts was a new camera, so photos will be coming soon!
Our elder son and grandson are flying from TX to CA tomorrow and then will drive to our home Friday. The plan is that our grandson will move into his new residence home the same day. How will that work? We'll see. Our son and grandson have had a good two weeks together so it will certainly be an abrupt change for our grandson. It's always hard to understand just what he understands. He has such difficulty expressing himself. Our fingers are crossed and prayers are constant! We want the best for him and hope this move is a good change for all.
Our son will return to TX next Wednesday, so he will be around for several days to initiate and facilitate the move. In the meantime, I am smiling and looking forward to a little time with my guys again. As much as I love the quiet time hubby and I shared, I miss my other guys. I'm a mother too! Wishing sun and warm days for you in this beautiful springtime, Jan
P.S. One of my birthday gifts was a new camera, so photos will be coming soon!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Winter to...Summer?
Believe it or not, as I am writing, the temperature on our deck is 94. WHAT?! Two days ago I was wearing turtlenecks & sweats (as I have most every day since October) so I should note that this is the first day of 2011 that my neck is visible. It disappears every October, not to be seen again until May? June? Sometimes even July? The Central Coast of California has a very late summer. Except today! Of course tomorrow it is supposed to be 64, so it will be a short-lived peek at summer, not the real deal. But I like it, it's a sweet peek.
I've been absent a week (actually more) on my blog because I injured my back and sitting at my computer is one of the things that really hurts. My injury? Like most of us, a simple story, nothing dramatic. If I was a patient on House, they would pass me by in the blink of an eye. As I was walking to my car in the rain, my heel struck the yellow parking strips in a cement parking garage and wheeee, down I started. Did anyone ever tell you that fresh-painted strips become as slippery as ice in the rain? I wish someone had told me. I did not actually go down but reached out with my right hand/arm to catch myself on my car. It worked but really tweaked my back. After almost two weeks of ibuprophen and heating pad, it's better but still healing.
Updates of family: Older son and grandson are thriving in Texas. That needs some serious thought. What do you think? Verrry interesting, eh? Younger son is happy, healthy and asked me if I'd like to join him on a drive north sometime to see cousins, aunts and friends. Well, yeah, I'll be ready in half an hour, no thought needed!
Last update of US: Hunky hubby brought me another birthday surprise. With blushing cheeks: it's a two-piece Hooters velour (purple) work out suit. With lots of bright sequins and a giant peace symbol on both the top and bottom. I'm wondering what he had in mind?? And where will I wear it? Maybe up and down our stairs? I MIGHT even wear it walking Angel. Maybe. Just on our road. He asked to take a photo of me as I tried it on and I declined. Not that I don't trust him--well, OK, I don't trust him. I am thinking our sons/grandsons are not imagining their mom/gramma is or ever was a Hooter girl. And they are right!
On that note, I'll leave you laughing. Yes, sometimes these are indeed the so-called golden years! Jan
I've been absent a week (actually more) on my blog because I injured my back and sitting at my computer is one of the things that really hurts. My injury? Like most of us, a simple story, nothing dramatic. If I was a patient on House, they would pass me by in the blink of an eye. As I was walking to my car in the rain, my heel struck the yellow parking strips in a cement parking garage and wheeee, down I started. Did anyone ever tell you that fresh-painted strips become as slippery as ice in the rain? I wish someone had told me. I did not actually go down but reached out with my right hand/arm to catch myself on my car. It worked but really tweaked my back. After almost two weeks of ibuprophen and heating pad, it's better but still healing.
Updates of family: Older son and grandson are thriving in Texas. That needs some serious thought. What do you think? Verrry interesting, eh? Younger son is happy, healthy and asked me if I'd like to join him on a drive north sometime to see cousins, aunts and friends. Well, yeah, I'll be ready in half an hour, no thought needed!
Last update of US: Hunky hubby brought me another birthday surprise. With blushing cheeks: it's a two-piece Hooters velour (purple) work out suit. With lots of bright sequins and a giant peace symbol on both the top and bottom. I'm wondering what he had in mind?? And where will I wear it? Maybe up and down our stairs? I MIGHT even wear it walking Angel. Maybe. Just on our road. He asked to take a photo of me as I tried it on and I declined. Not that I don't trust him--well, OK, I don't trust him. I am thinking our sons/grandsons are not imagining their mom/gramma is or ever was a Hooter girl. And they are right!
On that note, I'll leave you laughing. Yes, sometimes these are indeed the so-called golden years! Jan
Monday, March 21, 2011
Birth Day!
It's that day for me and I want to take a few minutes to let you know that I am counting my blessings! Hunky hubby was gone over the weekend but drove home last night in the driving rain so he could spend today with me. And brought home a surprise gift. Elder son, now in Texas, left a surprise package for me in his closet. Younger son gave me the computer I am using for an all-inclusive 2011 gift. Grandchildren are buzzing in with texts, facebook notes, phone calls.
But the day is not about things. It's about family. I love that we love each other so much. The challenges (problems?) we have are itty bitty in the big picture. I started this blog so I could learn from you, and you could learn from me, how to be a wiser, more loving person. I trust that you will help me with that and I will help you. In the meantime, God has blessed me with one more day and hopefully one more year. Thankfully and happily, Jan
But the day is not about things. It's about family. I love that we love each other so much. The challenges (problems?) we have are itty bitty in the big picture. I started this blog so I could learn from you, and you could learn from me, how to be a wiser, more loving person. I trust that you will help me with that and I will help you. In the meantime, God has blessed me with one more day and hopefully one more year. Thankfully and happily, Jan
Thursday, March 17, 2011
HOORAY!
We did it! Son and grandson left our driveway yesterday afternoon and we were ALL smiling. I know our son was excited to return to field work and geology teaching; grandson was excited to understand he was not left behind. Hunky hubby and I? Well, did you feel a big rush of wind yesterday? That was us, exhaling, again and again.
We are happy to know they departed happy. The only confused one around the house today is Angel, our dog. She is sleeping on our son's pillow, obviously wondering where her buddy went. There was also a little whimpering heard last night. As much as we were all looking forward to this, it will be a while before we adapt.
In the meantime, do you have those "situations" in your home? Are you trying to balance life on a very thin wire? I'd love to share those with you...for today, my Golden Years are happy! Jan
We are happy to know they departed happy. The only confused one around the house today is Angel, our dog. She is sleeping on our son's pillow, obviously wondering where her buddy went. There was also a little whimpering heard last night. As much as we were all looking forward to this, it will be a while before we adapt.
In the meantime, do you have those "situations" in your home? Are you trying to balance life on a very thin wire? I'd love to share those with you...for today, my Golden Years are happy! Jan
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Keeping Peace
I think we (hubby, son, grandson and I) are all in the mode of "Let's get through the day and keep the peace." After two days of considerable tension created by our grandson's agitation, plus many phone/email communications from social services, it appears that the residential home for our grandson will work fine. Just not yet.
They requested April 1 as the date of his arrival. Our son will be in Texas, ready to teach his graduate field class next Monday, March 21. Our grandson appears to be very concerned about where Dad and his truck are whenever they are not in the driveway or if our grandson is not sitting shotgun. He must have overheard enough conversation about Texas, teaching, and planning that he's fearful of being left behind. Now you can begin to see why we are all stressed and focused on keeping peace!
The plan (as of today) is for both son and grandson to depart for Texas tomorrow. Our grandson is comfortable and enjoys travel, loves taking part in Dad's classes and field work, and will be Dad's buddy until there is a window when they can fly home, accomplish the grandson's move, then son will fly back to Texas to finish the class as our grandson returns to his day program. I know, I know, everything becomes a compromised choice but sometimes it's the best anyone can do.
Our son is stressed, trying to plan his life on the road again. Our grandson is stressed, clearly aware and determined to have Dad by his side. Hubby is stressed trying to help in whatever small ways he can. Yesterday he actually took grandson (in Dad's truck, of course) to get a haircut and sandwich--that was no small event, believe me. I am stressed trying to keep our grandson and the dog from agitating each other as well as all these males from having meltdowns.
Pray that we all make it in peace, everybody happy and waving goodbye when the truck departs with son and grandson tomorrow morning! Ah, these oh-so-sweet golden years!
They requested April 1 as the date of his arrival. Our son will be in Texas, ready to teach his graduate field class next Monday, March 21. Our grandson appears to be very concerned about where Dad and his truck are whenever they are not in the driveway or if our grandson is not sitting shotgun. He must have overheard enough conversation about Texas, teaching, and planning that he's fearful of being left behind. Now you can begin to see why we are all stressed and focused on keeping peace!
The plan (as of today) is for both son and grandson to depart for Texas tomorrow. Our grandson is comfortable and enjoys travel, loves taking part in Dad's classes and field work, and will be Dad's buddy until there is a window when they can fly home, accomplish the grandson's move, then son will fly back to Texas to finish the class as our grandson returns to his day program. I know, I know, everything becomes a compromised choice but sometimes it's the best anyone can do.
Our son is stressed, trying to plan his life on the road again. Our grandson is stressed, clearly aware and determined to have Dad by his side. Hubby is stressed trying to help in whatever small ways he can. Yesterday he actually took grandson (in Dad's truck, of course) to get a haircut and sandwich--that was no small event, believe me. I am stressed trying to keep our grandson and the dog from agitating each other as well as all these males from having meltdowns.
Pray that we all make it in peace, everybody happy and waving goodbye when the truck departs with son and grandson tomorrow morning! Ah, these oh-so-sweet golden years!
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