Anyone There?

As a new "blogger" I admit I wonder when/who/if anyone will find me. I hope the "So-Called Golden Years" blog is connected to Google search, that would make it so easy to connect. Sign in, folks, I'm waiting!

I need to begin adding more to add to the story of me. As you read on the initial post, my family includes my hunky hubby (he really is my hunk), two sons in their 40s, two ex-daughters-in-law, and four grandchildren. I keep close contact with one daughter-in-law, the other one is estranged. Our eldest son has been living with my hubby and I the last year + one granddaughter (20), one grandson (22). Our two grandchildren are both special needs--grandson has moderate functioning autism, granddaughter has low IQ.

The story of their moving in with us was dramatic, a prequel to this last year. Our son had filed for divorce in Texas, where they lived and he worked. Our son moved out of their home into an apartment since their son had anger issues with his mother (our son's wife) and began running away from home. It's a fear that grabs your heart like few others when an autistic, non -communicative young man is on the streets alone at night. It continued escalating until the obvious means to protect his son was to move from the source of his anger--his mother.

The mother has always been protective and controlling. But in truth, she used both her children as tools of control in what seemed to our son, a manipulative and unfair way. Her goal was to isolate the two adult children in their home--limited educational classes, no friends, no opportunity to develop a social life.

So...back to their moving in with us...both the daughter and son were participating in adult special needs classes in TX. Their mother began interfering with their classes, teachers, and finally our son said enough. It was December, school would soon be on Christmas vacation, and they planned to spend the vacation in California. They came to California and our son decided they would all stay here.With us. In our home. Good? Bad? I guess it was some of both but all of a sudden hubby and I went from our life of retirement to a home with 3 more adults. Back to school with schedules, busses, meetings, cooking, marketing and all that a family of 5 needs.

Now...readers...what would you have done? And why? This is just a peek into the confusing, calamitous lives of Jan and her family...more (believe it or not) to come.

The So-Called Golden Years

Hi to all,
Let's start by letting you know who I am and why I want to start my blog! I'm Jan, I live in the California Central Coast area and I keep thinking the "golden years" should be starting. Like real soon. And they haven't, so I thought I'd see if anyone else out there has some wisdom/expertise/thoughts about how to get there. Or do we ever get there?

Soon I will add some pics but for today, let's just start exchanging ideas. My hubby and I retired an awesome 23 (!!) years ago and pictured our genteel, socially-networked and community-based life and smiled. We could have it all. We thought. And we did for a while...and there's the catch, the "for a while." We were giving to everybody and everywhere...the church, the homeless, we volunteered lots and gave lots. And as challenging as those roles were, we loved it. I learned how to lead committees, start ministries, host friendship groups...my hubby even built our new church sanctuary!

But as time went by, we found needs closer to home. Like our sons, daughters-in-laws, grandchildren, extended families too. More and more our "free" time has been gobbled up by family needs and situations (otherwise known as problems). Has this happened to you? If it has, has it been a positive change or a challenging change? How do you know what family lines to draw? Can we help each other? Please!! Can we blog?! More to come...Jan