On the Road

It may be a few days before I have a chance to update again; I am leaving for Northern California tomorrow morning to stay with my friend whose husband died last week. Due to family conflicts, his memorial service won't be until mid-May, and she's needing a friend. I am so blessed to be that friend.

A few years ago, I helped begin a ministry in our church that helps individuals during times of need and change (Stephen Ministry). It was a life-changing experience for me, learning the needs and the blessing of friendships during those times. It has equipped me to love, accept and stand with those who need or want a hand to hold. That's what I will be doing, just holding her hand and wiping her tears as she wipes mine.

In the meantime, hunky hubby and I had four great days with elder son and grandson over Easter weekend! We also celebrated grandson's birthday #23, elder son's birthday as well, so we had lots of fun with birthday cakes, trick candles, and a few presents too. It is important to cherish the days of smiles and laughs! Elder son is now back in TX, hard at work and grandson is back in his routine of his new "apartment" and vocational work.

We are not counting on days of peace and smiles, but we do really appreciate and thank God when we have them. I'll post again when I can--in the meantime I have a feeling I will come home so very blessed to know I have hunky hubby waiting for me with open arms. Jan

Easter Blessings

This is indeed a solemn week. Each evening I am reading the Gospel of John, correlating to the events that led to each day and Jesus being nailed to the cross, then lifted to suffer, and to die. This reality is never far from my mind, all year. Hubby and I have taken two trips to Israel and walked, quite literally, in His footsteps.

It is easy, all to easy, to imagine the depth of grief His followers, His family were feeling. We, two plus centuries later, have hope arriving Sunday, celebrating His Resurrection!

Come Sunday, we rejoice. We are thankful to have elder son and grandson joining us for Easter Sunday and dinner. May you and yours have a blessed and joyful Easter. Jan

Loss of Friends

Loss of friends is another aspect of Golden Years. This morning I received a phone call from my close and dear friend that her husband died yesterday. The timing seems strange, was my first reaction. To her, Easter will be remembered as his death. My second thought was, how wonderful. They both had a very strong faith and this now will be remembered as his resurrection as well as Jesus'. That brought a smile to my face, as tears trailed down my cheeks.

We have known each other the entire 23 years we've lived in Central California. They moved from here six years ago, wanting to be closer to their three children in the Bay Area. Their timing was perfect. Three years ago my friend's husband had a recurrence of cancer. He fought bravely and hard, and we have shared many long talks. I still feel she is down the road from me, that's how close we are and how much I love them both.

Now she will move on in her Golden Years alone. I wish she was indeed down the road so I could walk over and give her a hug and wipe our tears together. Hubby and I will be attending the services, wherever and whenever they happen. Her loss is my loss, my heart aches for her...Jan

The Old Is New Again

It is a joy to return to our "old" life. The life hubby and I had a couple of years ago, before the arrival of the extended family. It's like putting on that old pair of slippers, the well worn ones that have grooves inside that just fit your foot. Wonderful and easy.

The changes of the past couple of weeks seem to have fit everyone that way. Elder son is in Texas and finding teaching and university life comfortable...and exciting...and enervating in ways he has missed. Grandson is totally happy and yes, comfortable in his new "apartment."

It has not been without some withdrawal anxiety of our son. He and our grandson established a pattern of communicating with text and phone while they were together in Texas. After a couple of days in his new home (ok, apartment) our grandson broke off. No texts, no calls, no picking up when his dad called. That created a LOT of anxiety in spite of talking with the couple who operate the home our grandson moved into. There's no substituting for a pair of eyes seeing and believing, is there?

So Saturday afternoon I drove over, visited our grandson. When I walked in the door, he had a huge smile and hug and "Hi Gramma!" Then we went out for a quick dinner and also to a market to buy a few things he wanted. When we drove back to his new home, he unpacked his grocery items in the kitchen and went to his room. I visited with the couple running the home for a few minutes and walked into my grandson's room to say goodbye. He looked up and smiled, and said "Goodbye Gramma!" with hardly a skipped beat. He seemed so very content and I hoped my words would create the same feelings for our son.

It was with joy I sat in our church yesterday, reflecting on the day. It was my mother's birthday, she would have been 97. It was Palm Sunday, the day of joy and tears as Jesus rode into Jerusalem. It will be our grandson's 23rd birthday this week, his father's birthday next week. We seem to have moved into a new time of life, but really it's the old one again. I am filled with thankfulness and feel hubby and I have, for now, have some Golden Days, if not Golden Years. And I still hope for Golden Years! How about your time of life? What are your changes, challenges, hopes and struggles? I'd be honored if you can share them with me. Jan

Ouch...

Today's post is all about ME. Maybe it's about time, eh? I had an appointment with an oral surgeon yesterday to excise a big ole molar. It was a first in lots of ways--the first time I had an abscessed tooth and didn't know it (the hygienist found it during a routine cleaning--oh oh, not so routine). I had never had a tooth excised other than two lower wisdom teeth, many many years ago. It was not without trepidation that I walked through the door yesterday morning.

I chose to have anesthesia (yes, please put me out, no second thoughts there.) I walked into the OR at 10 am, woke up at 11 am with a hole where the tooth was but now filled with a mouth full of gauze. And believe it or not, that was the worst part of it all, the mouth filled with gauze. I slept...and slept...and slept. All afternoon and all night. I didn't know I could do that...Hunky hubby was fully attentive and brought me anything and everything I needed. Angel was an angel and stayed by my side all day and night.

And lawsy, as my Gramma would say, I woke up this morning feeling pretty great, things considered. No pain, no swelling and very, very hungry. I've just had my first cuppa coffee in two days, oh what a feeling! Now I'm off for some toast. Okay, that's enough about ME. My words to the wise: come to Central CA when you need an oral surgeon and go to mine, He's fabulous. :) Jan

Tears and Smiles

Yesterday was the big day. Our son departed for Texas and was oh-so-sad. I likened his feelings to what I remembered as empty nest time. Our son doesn't really have a nest anymore since he's been living with us, but perhaps that makes the split with his son even more poignant. He was surely a sad Dad to see his son drive away with us. It's that old good news/bad news situation: the good news is that timing is right for both, the bad news is that they have been buddies for so many years that simply put--they will miss one another so much. Life is about nothing if it isn't about change, right?

After the goodbyes, Hubby and I drove our grandson to his new "apartment." He seems absolutely thrilled to be on his own. Big smiles, hugs, kisses and a happy wave bye-bye. The couple who operate the home and supervise their guests, are just the personalities our grandson thrives with. Very happy, soft-spoken, gentle and loving. But they need to have assistance from each of their guests to have the home function in the way they choose, so everybody shares the work. Expectations are clear and assignments are expected to be completed without too much prompting. All in all, I have moved from cautious to very pleased!

I'm wondering if any of my readers have had similar separations in their family? We move ahead in faith and hope and prayers. We are seeing God's timing in our lives, the situation with our son and grandson, and it's comforting. Are there things the readers can share with me/us? I look forward to your stories too! Jan

Happy Monday?

Well, so far so good. Son and grandson arrived in California on schedule, have accomplished the move, and there seem to be smiles all around. Am I surprised? Yes, I think I am. If I think of the resiliency our grandson shows, it's downright amazing! He has gone from the only home he remembered living in to his Dad's apartment, then to our home and now to his "new" home/apartment. Flexibility and change are not common characteristics of persons with autism.

I met the new family yesterday, a couple in their 50's. The man is an associate pastor, his wife is the mom to all. They have a total (including our grandson) of five special needs adults who live with them. Three are older, probably also in their 50's. One is younger than our grandson. It seems to be a very harmonious, peaceful home, something necessary for our grandson. No babies crying, no dogs barking! I am cautiously optimistic and pray for the harmony to create a wonderful home for our grandson.

The second phase will begin tomorrow when our son returns to Texas. Hunky hubby and I will certainly do what we can to continue this new path. Many thanks for your thoughts and prayers! Jan

Changes...again

It has been good for hunky hubby and I to have "alone" time. We have cherished it and been aware it was a short passage and we did our best to appreciate and enjoy it. Friday we are expecting changes, if all goes as planned.

Our elder son and grandson are flying from TX to CA tomorrow and then will drive to our home Friday. The plan is that our grandson will move into his new residence home the same day. How will that work? We'll see. Our son and grandson have had a good two weeks together so it will certainly be an abrupt change for our grandson. It's always hard to understand just what he understands. He has such difficulty expressing himself. Our fingers are crossed and prayers are constant! We want the best for him and hope this move is a good change for all.

Our son will return to TX next Wednesday, so he will be around for several days to initiate and facilitate the move. In the meantime, I am smiling and looking forward to a little time with my guys again. As much as I love the quiet time hubby and I shared, I miss my other guys. I'm a mother too! Wishing sun and warm days for you in this beautiful springtime, Jan
P.S. One of my birthday gifts was a new camera, so photos will be coming soon!

Winter to...Summer?

Believe it or not, as I am writing, the temperature on our deck is 94. WHAT?! Two days ago I was wearing turtlenecks & sweats (as I have most every day since October) so I should note that this is the first day of 2011 that my neck is visible. It disappears every October, not to be seen again until May? June? Sometimes even July? The Central Coast of California has a very late summer. Except today! Of course tomorrow it is supposed to be 64, so it will be a short-lived peek at summer, not the real deal. But I like it, it's a sweet peek.

I've been absent a week (actually more) on my blog because I injured my back and sitting at my computer is one of the things that really hurts. My injury? Like most of us, a simple story, nothing dramatic. If I was a patient on House, they would pass me by in the blink of an eye. As I was walking to my car in the rain, my heel struck the yellow parking strips in a cement parking garage and wheeee, down I started. Did anyone ever tell you that fresh-painted strips become as slippery as ice in the rain? I wish someone had told me. I did not actually go down but reached out with my right hand/arm to catch myself on my car. It worked but really tweaked my back. After almost two weeks of ibuprophen and heating pad, it's better but still healing.

Updates of family: Older son and grandson are thriving in Texas. That needs some serious thought. What do you think? Verrry interesting, eh? Younger son is happy, healthy and asked me if I'd like to join him on a drive north sometime to see cousins, aunts and friends. Well, yeah, I'll be ready in half an hour, no thought needed!

Last update of US: Hunky hubby brought me another birthday surprise. With blushing cheeks: it's a two-piece Hooters velour (purple) work out suit. With lots of bright sequins and a giant peace symbol on both the top and bottom. I'm wondering what he had in mind?? And where will I wear it? Maybe up and down our stairs? I MIGHT even wear it walking Angel. Maybe. Just on our road. He asked to take a photo of me as I tried it on and I declined. Not that I don't trust him--well, OK, I don't trust him. I am thinking our sons/grandsons are not imagining their mom/gramma is or ever was a Hooter girl. And they are right!

On that note, I'll leave you laughing. Yes, sometimes these are indeed the so-called golden years! Jan